Do You Have a Pen: Louisiana

This was the last state I had to visit to hit my lower forty-eight state bucket list and I went near it,  but never made it into the state several times.  Finally I did.  In fact,  scratching that off my bucket list was the catalyst for this entire book. I wasn’t sure if I would like it,  and I absolutely loved it there.  It quickly became one of the states I would consider moving to.

Traveling down Interstate 55,  I first hit the Louisiana Welcome Center and it may have been one of the cleanest rest areas I have ever been in.  I stopped to pick up a state map for Robert,  who is collecting them for each state now.  The center was closed,  so I just took a leak and left.  I was headed to New Orleans  and it’s not a long state to drive through from North to South.  While going down the interstate it was dark,  but I was under a full moon so I could still see.  The humidity created a haze in the air and the temperature was high enough to need air conditioning in the middle of the night,  so the windshield kept fogging over and getting moisture on the inside.  Driving farther South,  I got to the swamps by Lake Pontchartrain and could see fan boats in the water with spotlights coming from them.  They were hunting.  Knowing the number of alligators down there,  I saw these exits off the interstate into what seems to me to be nowhere.  There are these houses you can see on these small roads off the exits.  It’s like a lane with houses on both sides and the back side of the houses was swamp or rivers through the swamps.  I would love to see the area up close sometime—in the daylight.  I have images in my head of large reptiles pulling my screaming body into the water at night in the middle of nowhere,  never to be found again.  Yeah.  I have a lot of phobias.  Sometimes my phobias develop their own phobias.  I had no idea what to expect from the swamps there.  As I drove through,  I could smell them.  It smelled like peat moss.  Hell,  I grew up in a peat bog in Indiana.  That’s nothing new to me,  but in Indiana,  eventually you get out of it and usually,  fairly quickly.  In Louisiana,  you just keep going through them. 

I officially made it to New Orleans—almost.  I spent the night in Saint Rose then took an Uber to the airport where I caught the bus into town.  The bus was  $1.25 and the Uber all the way in would have been  $25.  Two Ubers would cost a lot of Cajun food I wouldn’t be able to eat.  As soon as I got off the bus,  I realized that the area wasn’t the greatest.  It was was an apparent fact on the bus still as I saw the areas we were driving through,  but I didn’t expect the area adjacent to the famed French Quarter to be so blighted.  While walking towards the French Quarter,  I found a bar called Cajun Mike’s.  I went in and had a drink because it was  9AM and the Saints had a home game so I wasn’t alone.  I was hungry and asked the bartender when they would be serving food and he said at ten,  but he’d try hurrying the cook up a little to get him ready early.  At 9:30,  I was able to order and got an oyster po’ boy and a bowl of jambalaya,  both things I have had in other places,  but never as good as I had here in the city that invented them.   After my bourbon and Cajun food breakfast,  I left and found the French Quarter a couple blocks away.  It was already getting warmer and warmer that morning so I was sweating pretty much from the start.  I walked the streets a bit to check the area out and was surprised.  I have seen pictures and I never realized just how narrow the streets are.  I always assumed they were wider,  but the streets are all one-way with parking on the side.  I had no clue.  I popped up the map on my phone and found directions to The Old Absinthe House.  This was also a bucket list item for me so I was excited.  I finally made it!  After a few minutes of looking over the absinthe menu,  I ordered the Mata Hari.  The bartender presented it as a show to compensate for the  $18 cost,  or so I assume.  First she poured a shot or so into a rocks glass.  Then she put the absinthe spoon across the top,  placed a sugar cube on the spoon,  and then put a straw in the absinthe to get a little bit and she dribbled it on the sugar cube—then lit it on fire to caramelize the sugar a little bit.  I can’t say that it added any flavor to the drink,  but it looked so cool to see your drink on fire before she added the water to the absinthe.  I started sipping and I was so happy.  The next time I am there,  I will have to get video of the preparation of a glass.  The bar has business cards pinned and stapled to the wall and has a dirty,  open-air feel to it with some loud music that’s non offensive and everyone seemed to like.  In Murrells Inlet,  South Carolina  (part of there known as the Grand Strand)  is a bar called Flo’s Place,  which I am guessing the Old Absinthe House served as inspiration for.  I will be back!  After there,  I went walking again.  I found Hustler’s Barely Legal and went in.  They had a good special.  It was  $7 to get in,  but you can get a drink for your admission and at the time I was there,  they had an in-bar deal also that all drinks were automatically upgraded to doubles so I had a double Makers Mark for the cost of admission.  I sat down and waited...and waited and waited.  No girls were on stage.  The host apologized to me and said a girl would be out shortly.  An hour later, a girl came out.  Let me emphasis the word  “a.”  Yes,  there was just one for now.  I finally left.  I get that it was slow,  but the place opens at 11AM and it takes till 1PM to get a girl on stage,  but they still keep charging admission.  At least it was air conditioned. 

The city is clean and dirty at the same time.  You don’t feel in any danger there during the daytime while in the French Quarter,  but you are also able to not feel bad about flicking a cigarette butt on the ground.  By  2PM things started picking up more and I was walking around checking out the architecture.  The buildings there are gorgeous.  New Orleans,  on my first visit,  made the list of cities I would strongly consider moving to.  As the crowd picked up,  it became more and more beautiful.  I was walking near the water and had to find a gift shop to buy a Panama hat.  It was around a hundred degrees and really humid.  I am not used to those conditions and was sweating miserably.  I needed to cover my bald ass head or risk a bad sunburn.  Washington Square was amazing and the eclectic mix of people there was electric.  It was people selling art and shoppers of all walks of life walking around the area deciding what to buy or just window shopping.  Little shops in the French Quarter include everything from antique shops with stuff I can’t afford to stores selling everything Voodoo.  You can take everything from Ghost tours to fan boat tours and arrange them all right down in the French Quarter.  Finally,  before I left,  I found a twenty-four hour place named Deja Vu Restaurant  (not to be mistaken with the strip club chain).  That’s where I had the seafood gumbo.  Again,  it was the best I ever had and I don’t mean it was just a little bit better than others.  When I was done that night,  I went back stuffed and couldn’t move because I was so full. 

Another time I hit Baton Rouge and yet another time,  Lafayette.  I really enjoyed both of those cities as well.  Lafayette is laid back and comfortable,  while Baton Rouge has a hustle about it,  which is expected since it’s the state capital.  Baton Rouge is also home to LSU,  or Louisiana State University (Go Tigers).  It’s one of the most beautiful college campuses I have ever seen in my life.  The Spanish moss hanging off the old oak trees really sets it off.  When I travel down there,  the best way to get home is to fly.  I have been there a few times since the original draft of this book and I discovered a secret.  American Airlines has a cheap flight from between. $50 and  $70 to Chicago every Monday through Thursday at 6:30AM. I couldn’t make that flight if I wanted to when I first get there since the places I go generally open at  7AM.  The next cheapest flight is just north of  $300.  If I am anywhere but New Orleans,  I take a bus to the city and price around one or two in the afternoon.  I found a Best Western Premier Property named the Blake Hotel that runs about  $85 with tax most days.  So fantastic hotel four blocks from the French Quarter,  plus Uber to the airport,  and my flight all cost less combined than half of the later flight prices.  Darn!  I guess I better enjoy the city for the evening.

I loved what I’ve seen of Louisiana and New Orleans may be one of the most impressive and amazing place I’ve ever been and I absolutely plan and can’t wait to go back. I am already planning on a vacation down there because I loved the area so much.