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Three Days in Abilene

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Abilene city flag.
Abilene city flag.

When you drive as much as I do, breakdowns happen. You only hope that when the breakdown hits, you’re not in Joplin, Tulsa, or Cheyenne. Add Abilene to that list. I stopped at a truck stop on the outskirts of town to sleep and when I fired up the truck the next morning, I had a slew of indicator lights on so I went to a garage and ended up having to get a hotel room, which ended up with me in a hotel for three days. I made the best of it, but had this strange depression also, mostly from the circumstances. Work ended up recalling me, but I opted to take the bus back instead of fly since my original ticket was on the bus and I would have been stuck on an off-brand airline instead of American Airlines. It was an easier option based on a few factors so I decided to just do the bus. Mainly, with American, if I miss my flight, as a Preferred Traveler, I have same day standby, but if my bus from Abilene to Dallas would have been delayed and I had another carrier, I would have been completely screwed and I would have had to pay even more for my check bag. Worse, the flight would have landed me someplace rather inconvenient, near home, but in an expensive place to Uber home from. I hate the bus!

 

I’m sorry, but Abilene is not the prettiest town I ever seen and I would be happy to never go back there. I will agree with the namesake song; that the girls there never treat you mean, but that’s because everyone in that city is looking to escape somehow. Drugs, alcohol, sex are all there, because no one else wants to be. I have never seen a city that was in a state of emotional depression quite like Abilene. I asked the girl at the front desk if there was a place to get a drink within walking distance. She said “I wish!” She suggested using an app like Uber that delivers liquor to you and she explained that she uses it all the time. Then she went on with, “I don’t know what I was thinking when I moved back here. I never should have come back.” That seemed a little bit over the top, but you could see the sadness in her eyes when she said it. Throughout the three days I was there, I encountered others saying the same thing, some with similar words even. I know I felt I needed to get away and they all seemed like they needed to as well.

 

I ended up having to take a bus out of there. It was thirty minutes late and the driver had to take his thirty minute break. By the time I got to Dallas, I missed my connecting bus by ten minutes. They couldn’t hold the bus for those of us needing to make the transfer and I had to sleep in the Dallas bus station and wait on my next bus out of there, some twelve hours later.

 

In Abilene, there was no happiness, no comfort, no joy. It was the most desperate place I’ve ever been and there was a sense of depression everywhere from everyone. People just felt stuck. I’m glad to not be there.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

New York City on the Cheap

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People always say how expensive New York City is and I can’t deny it. If you are totally ill prepared, New York will suck and you will leave broke. I will break this up into multiple segments for ease of reading by topic and make things easier. I am assuming a five day, four night stay in New York. The goal here is a full vacation under $1,000 and you’ll have fun doing it.

 

Transportation to and from NYC.

I am basing this part on Chicago costs. Preplan your trip! This cannot be stressed enough. Airlines and trains will do you no favors the day before your trip if you don’t have your tickets already. I’d suggest planning a month out for your transportation. I’ve flown from NYC for as little as $50 for basic economy and $75 for main cabin (which is more comfortable). I assume an average of $100 each way, which isn’t bad. Basic economy allows you a single personal item to be stored below the seat in front of you so you have even less room to stretch out. Economy allows a carry-on item to be stored in the overhead bin as well. Usually the cost for a check bag is between $35 and $50 additional, so pack your carry-on tight to save money, but be up to date on TSA regulations. For flight bookings, I suggest Sky Scanner unless you already have a preferred airline. Do not use the Skip Lagged app!!! They are the best way to lose any points, status, or miles you have accumulated. My preference is American Airlines with a flight to and from NYC every thirty minutes from both LaGuardia and JFK.

 

Amtrak is $105 each way from and to Chicago so basically the same price.

Round trip airfare $200

 

Hotel.

You have multiple options for hotels, some starting at over $1,000 per night. Stay away from those unless you are trying to impress somebody. I’ve seen some in Manhattan as low as $350. Another option is a youth hostel. So if you are ok with bunk beds and a community bathroom this is an option…but we are Americans. We aren’t staying in that crap. I advise to stay in the Hotel Pennsylvania. They run an internet only special of $99 per night. Do not book last minute and do not book during big events. They do this rate to ensure they sell out nightly. Also assume a tax rate of 15% so $115 per night is a great guess. Before booking the flight, make sure the room for the nights you want works. The Hotel Pennsylvania is located right across the street from the famous New York Penn Station so if you take Amtrak, you are right across the street.

Hotel Cost $460

 

Ground Transportation.

Public transportation is the best answer. New York City has done its best to make sure no one really has to drive in the city and of ever place I’ve been in the United States, they have done the best job of it. The traffic jams are horrible and I recommend not driving to the city even if you’re close enough to do so. If you’re that close, take the train in. There are multiple train options from closer distances besides Amtrak.

 

You can buy an unlimited ride MTA (Metropolitan Transportation Authority) seven day pass (subway and bus) for $32 per person. This is your best deal if you want to move around the whole city. If you want to just move around Manhattan, just buy the standard MTA pass and pay the $2.75 per ride. Buses are free if within two hours of a subway entry and you can transfer from one subway to another and ride continuously to your destination as long as you don’t go outside the turnstiles. Go HERE to check your best options on their website, but so much of Manhattan can be discovered by just going for a walk.

 

Stay away from taxis. They are overpriced compared to Uber and that’s not just NYC. That is true nationwide. In NYC, unless you’re running late for something, there’s no real need to be in a car.

 

Remember the E Train. E Train goes to two different stops that have transfers to one airport or the other. If you are flying out of LaGuardia, take the E Train to Jackson Heights – Roosevelt Avenue and take the Q70 bus to the airport. It’s an express bus only to and from the airport. If you are flying out of JFK, take the E Train to Sutphin and Archer. Go upstairs of that train station and you’ll find the Airtrain to JFK. If you are flying into New York, reverse those directions and take the train to Penn Station. The Q70 transfer is free but the both ways. Be careful of the Sutphin and Archer stop. It’s not the best part of the city, especially at two in the morning (I made that mistake before). In the daytime, it’s a nice, vibrant, multicultural community.

 

Ground Transportation $32

 

Food.

Food is as expensive in New York as you would assume…sort of. If you are in the Ruby Tuesday’s in Times Square, assume you will spend at least $3 to $5 per person per meal more than you would just about everyplace else in the country. That’s the cost of eating on the second floor of a pretty cool place and looking down over the famous Times Square. You’re basically paying for the most expensive real estate in the world.

 

At this juncture, I can tell you I could do an entire food blog website about where to eat cheap in New York City and no, to not places who’s names you know already. You won’t find cheap steaks there, but you will find cheap food. Look at food carts, pizza places open to the street, and family owned ethnic restaurants. At the train station in Jamaica, New York, at Sutphin and Archer, you can walk just ten minutes in any direction to find amazing ethnic restaurants for under $12 for lunch. It’s worth the train ride out there from Manhattan to enjoy the atmosphere the area has to offer. Near the Port Authority Bus Terminal (PABT) you will find pizza places with fantastic prices. I am talking $2 a slice for pizza in a couple places. Find that cheap in a mall pizza kiosk anywhere else in the United States. I do have one word of caution here. pizza in Chicago and New York is considered the best in the country, both with their unique styles. NYC pizza purists will tell you to go to Brooklyn for the best pizza in New York. While no two New Yorkers will agree on who’s pizza is the best in the city, 80% of them agree that you’ll find it in Brooklyn. With that, the stuff you get in Manhattan for a couple bucks a slice is still pretty damn good pizza.

 

New York is known as “the city that never sleeps,” but around 5AM when you want breakfast, you’ll have to search hard. All locals know “that one place on that street,” which helps no one that’s not from there.  There are very few 24-hour dinners in NYC. They do exist, but they are not overly easy to find because it’s not one after another on the main streets people walk. Use Google and you will find them, but be patient. Make your plan the night before in your room so you’re not walking around looking for breakfast and not finding it.

 

I’m averaging meal expenses at $12 per meal. Lunch should be cheaper and dinner will be more, but use that as a good baseline since food carts are $6 to $8 including a drink.

 

Food Cost $180

 

Entertainment.

Do you like museums? Unlike the Smithsonian, NYC museums are not free, however, many offer free, discounted, and suggested donation days. I found a great piece on NY.com that lists them by day as to what is cheap or free. Please click HERE for the direct link. They in turn, have links to each museum and have really done their homework.

 

The zoo in Central Park is also free and open daily throughout summer. Check out the oculus at Ground Zero, an unusual place that is the site of the greatest single tragedy on US soil and a tribute to American resilience (it’s a shopping mall now that looks up to the new World Trade Center). Another option is to just ride the subway for a day. If you buy the day pass, get off and on whenever and wherever you want. This is about exploration and fun, but mostly this is about you getting out of your comfort zone for a little while.

 

Are you really going to go to New York without seeing a show? Check out Showtickets HERE for the list of off broadway shows and costs. All along Times Square, you will hear “wanna see a show?” Assuming it’s not a transvestite hooker, the shows are typically comedy and a great way to spend part of an evening in the big city. A lot of these are free to be part of a studio audience or they will ask for donations after. Times Square itself is a place to behold as well. I love Times Square, as is evident in one of my first blog pieces. You can spend an entire night just taking in the multicultural atmosphere that is Times Square. It is amazing!

 

They have multiple bus tours of the city starting at around $50. It is a good way to see things, if a little on the pricy side, but you get to ride a double deck bus and sit up top, which is really cool! Another option for a full day is literally to go for a long walk with your camera. You will regret not taking those pictures if you don’t do it. Take a look at my personal website and you will see my pictures from various trips to NYC in a tab titled New York City.

 

Entertainment Cost $128

 

Other Stuff.

Stay away from drinking there. It’s not cheap. Average about $10 to $15 per adult mixed beverage. So I suggest staying sober. Also, if you want to go shopping, it’s not cheap but if you want the fun of negotiating price, hit Jamaica Avenue in Jamaica, New York for something that seems like a Moroccan bazar of food, spices, and wears of all kinds.

 

There. I just helped you spend $1,000 of your hard earned money in the course of a week and you got to see the greatest city on Earth.

 

If there are two or more people, share the room expense and everyone has more money to spend on doing stuff in the city. A lot of people are afraid of New York and twenty years ago, rightfully so, but this isn’t that city anymore. The crime rate has dropped and in Manhattan especially, you can’t swing a dead rat without accidentally hitting a cop (please note that cops hate being hit by dead rats and doing so may get you arrested). Have fun, be safe, and watch out for pickpockets.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

Desperate in Dallas

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“The floors of bus stations are the same all over the country, always covered with butts and spit and they give a feeling of sadness that only bus stations have.” ― Jack Kerouac, On the Road

 

The more I travel, the more I love this county. Most of my pieces have been about cool places and things I love seeing in my travels, even the piece titled I Hate Texas. From sea to shining sea, I’ve tried to put a positive spin on everything and see the bright side, thus attempting to convey those feelings. This ain’t one of those pieces.

 

I’m writing this in the Dallas Greyhound Bus Terminal in downtown Dallas. My bus out of Abilene was two hours late so I missed my connection to Oklahoma City and subsequently, to Chicago, so my one-hour layover turned into eleven hours. This is my own personal Hell. I was assured by the guy at the counter at the bus station (an outside seating area under a canopy with a ticket counter inside a 7-11 Convenance Store) in Abilene. He straight up lied to my face. I was the fourth person in line to get on the bus. I got on and started walking to the back. The guy in front of me said there were no more seats. I turned around and the driver pointed out two seats at the front. I was asked to take the front seat and he was asked to take the seat behind me. Bus seats are doubles so both seats already had occupants. The woman occupying the seat behind mine grumbled because her bag saw next to her and she didn’t want to move it. The guy offered to move it for her but she grabbed it and put the bag on her lap (where it belonged). My seat mate was about six foot six and sitting with his legs on my side. Though they have an handicapped logo on them, the seats are for anything but. I had to sit side-saddle to accommodate his long legs with the seatbelt receptacle in my hip the whole time and I had to get up every ten minutes of the two hour drive to the next stop so Nate (his name was Nate) could stretch his legs…because they weren’t stretched enough with them being on my side. When we got to the next stop, the guy directly behind me got off. Great! I can take his seat…or not. I went to sit down there and had to ask her to move her bag and she said “no.” Her legs hurt. Finally someone who realized we were at his stop got off and I got his towards the back of the bus. Upon arrival in Dallas, I was told I could not get on the 8:45 bus to Oklahoma City, but I can do the 6:45 AM bus. Mine you, I had a three or four hour layover scheduled in Oklahoma City and I could make my OKC to Chicago bus by ten minutes if the bus from Dallas would be on time. So the question is, where do I want to be homeless for the night? I guess Dallas. With as many homeless people as there are, it must be a good place to do it. I’ve said before, with my job, sometimes there’s a thin line between us what I do and being homeless. Today I may have crossed that line again. 

 

If you’ve never taken the bus, consider yourself lucky. I’m convinced people only choose to take it because they don’t have drug sniffing dogs like Amtrak does. In any town across the country over 30,000 people you have that one gas station on the edge of town by the hotels that make your skin crawl. The people that go into that gas station after 10 PM are the ones who populate the bus terminals of America constantly. You’ll be asked for money to cigarettes anytime you’re outside.

 

While sitting outside in the “smoking lounge,” which’s simply more shitty wire seats outside but under a canopy and surround by fencing, I saw a bum reach in to pull the garbage can closer so he could grab a cigarette butt off of it, then he asked the guy nearest to him, yet inside the fence, for a light. The gentleman was kind enough to oblige. The gentleman didn’t close the gate all the wat when he exited, so three early twenty somethings with sagging pants and wife beaters came in to sell us drugs because…bus station. “I got dabs, tabs, drops, K2…” the list went on, but rapidly. I didn’t catch the rest nor did I care to. I minded my own business and was texting a friend about what a shithole Dallas is and one of them snapped his fingers between my phone screen and my face (it wasn’t that close because I’ve gotten to the age where my arm fully extended is about the right distance to read a text). I politely looked up and asked, “You need something?” He and his homies left.

 

I came back inside after another cigarette in relative peace. The only exception were three different people asking me if I knew what time it was. Back inside there are people sprawled on the floor. Nearly every phone charger is taken up. I sat down at an open charger and chair to hear a Muslim and a Jew yelling in a heated debate as to who’s god is the right god. Security intervened after forty-five minutes. Concurrently, there was a young woman of Hispanic origins, maybe eighteen or nineteen, talking on the phone about smokin’ a roach because her baby daddy smoked the rest of her shit. The front doors opened briefly as someone came or left and the first thing I heard was police sirens. Bus stations are never in the good part of town and in Dallas, they didn’t have to look far to figure out where to put it…right downtown. The guy next to me at this point was bitching about wanting his 40 acres and a mule to the guy next to him with face tattoos that just got out of prison. They bonded over catcalling a couple women that walked past and discussing food options on the inside.

 

I stepped outside shortly after I got here to look at the Best Western app and get a number for their closest hotel. Conditions suck and I strongly considered getting a room. My friend, Rob, reminded me that I’ve dealt with worse, like sleeping on a park bench in Manhattan or the rail system in Atlanta or the back of a truck in Cairo, Illinois during a tornado. Also…I’m cheap. Security yelled at me to go back inside. People being outside the bus station attracts more bums. I yelled back, “I’m making a phone call” and may have sushed him. He then asked me to go back inside once I was finished so I did so. He thanked me. Please don’t kick me off a public street when you don’t have the authority. For future reference, the Best Western in Dallas that’s two miles from the bus station is $105 on a Friday night including tax and I would highly recommend paying that price instead of staying in the bus station, deprived of sleep.

 

The men’s room is so filthy that after taking a leak, not washing my hands seemed like the more sanitary option. Unzip, aim as best you can without touching, and just let it fly. From the puddles on the floor, I’m not the only one who had that idea.

 

After the two convicts moved (one got a call from his girl and the other had to get on his bus), a husband and wife sat down. He was telling me they got kicked off the bus in Phoenix and lost their luggage. They had no clean clothes with them now. You’re wondering why they got kicked off the bus, aren’t you? Phoenix is the end of the line for the bus from LA and his ol’ lady (his words, not mine) was sleeping soundly and didn’t hear the announcement to get off the bus or the other passengers go past them to get off. The driver came up and woke her up, which she woke out swearing…so they were kicked off and their tickets taken. I’ve seen this happen before. Travel tip: Don’t swear at the bus driver or the conductors on the train; the guy who puts the bags under the bus is fine to swear at if he’s being an asshole, so I’ve learned first hand when one pushed my buttons.

 

I’ve seen a great looking woman with a nice rack wearing shorts and a bra (hence how I know the nice rack). There was a transvestite who needs to shave her armpits waking around with a handbag looking thing that has a built in phone charger for sale. It’s only $5 if you’re interested. A guy got accused of intimidating another guy was clipping hair for $5 to $10 a person. Though an inconsiderate jerk, he didn’t intimidate anyone. There was a girl around nineteen years old with a “13” tattooed under her right eye (she’s gonna really regret that when she goes to get a job outside of the strip club) with her mother, aunt, and aunt’s chihuahua. I made friends with the chihuahua. Her name was Puppers. One man had a shaved head and tattoos up his entire neck and on his whole head (I’m pretty sure he has a tax free income source). Another man who called women “girlfriend” and dressed in short shorts with a half tank top who was offering to perform oral sex on other men for half a cigarette. There was a homeless man outside shouting bible verses at us and a man in the smoking area smoking a joint and complaining that he couldn’t afford a bus ticket.

 

Jack Kerouac wrote On the Road during a cross country bus trip from the west coast to New York while high on meth. He used a continuous feed paper and a typewriter to write the first draft. I do not have the luxury of meth tonight since my job drug tests and I am going to go find a place to curl up for a few hours. I am fading fast.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

The World’s (Second) Largest Ball of Twine

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A tribute to the American way of life is our, at times, boredom. The two largest balls of twine in the world aren’t in Saudi Arabia, Japan, or Mexico. They are right here! Today I will focus on what is technically the second largest, but I believe it to be the de facto largest and I will also explain why.

 

Seated in Darwin, Minnesota is a big ass ball of twine and without a doubt it is the largest in the state. In Kansas there is a larger ball of twine, but I believe that one deserves an asterisk since it was complied by multiple people, visitors, every year. The ball of twine in Darwin is the largest ball of twine put together by a single person. The Darwin twine ball is the largest in Minnesota without argument, but I argue the case for this to be the largest in the world. Period.

 

I was telling one beautiful Minnesotan about my experience seeing the Largest Ball of Twine and she instantly said, “Minnesota’s got a lot of weird things like that.” I was sad that she didn’t punctuate that statement with, “geez,” but she doesn’t have that Minnesotan accent.

 

The twine ball was rolled by Francis A. Johnson, a life-long Meeker County resident and son of U.S. Senator Magnus Johnson. Most likely an outlet for an obsessive compulsive disorder, Johnson would roll twine in his basement for hours starting back in or around 1950. Eventually the twine ball was moved outside while he was still able to get it out of his basement and it was placed on his front lawn. To make sure it stayed round (it is a ball after all), he used railroad jacks to secure the ball from all sides. Finally in 1979 Johnson retired from the project after 29 years of his love labor. A circular building was built to protect his time investment. Johnson died shortly thereafter from emphysema, assumedly from breathing twine dust for 29 years.

 

The town moved “Minnesota’s Largest Ball of Twine” or “The World’s Largest Ball of Twine Rolled by One Person” to its current location near the Darwin Water Tower and a relatively sealed protective shelter made of wood and plexiglass shields it but makes it fully visible.

 

This was really one of the coolest experiences of my life. First, it says loads about America and our greatness because the rest of the world doesn’t have time to just sit and roll twine. It also says a lot about small town America and the pride we have in the most iniquitous things. Beyond the twine ball you see America on all sides. Flags, a youth baseball field in a park, a quaint little library lending box on the street corner, and white picket fences. Though it may seem boring to many and frankly it is, it’s a way of life free from box stores next door and everybody knows everybody else. This Twine Ball represents the anthesis of my piece title Times Square and that duality is what makes this country so damn beautiful.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

Times Square

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Since I started this job I’ve learned just how much I love New York City. I was there once before years back and it was a fantastic sight to behold, but at the time I wasn’t able to truly appreciate the city. There was so much I hadn’t seen or experienced on that one single trip. This piece is based on my most recent trip that I ended up there on a Saturday night and I didn’t realize how much I missed it.

 

I brought a bus from Boston into the Port Authority Bus Terminal (PABT) and when you come out of the terminal, you are face-to-face across the street from a huge sign for the New York Times on their namesake building. Everything is just larger than life. A block or two away is the actual Times Square, which is freaking huge! It is really a visual rendition of American excessism and materialism at both its best and worst. If I wanted to show any foreigner America and there was only ten minutes to do it, Times Square is where I would do it.

 

When you are there the first time, it’s overwhelming on every sense. There are people bumping into you, the smell of food, the lights, the sounds of people talking and cars honking, and you can almost taste the air for good or bad. Everything is there at once. After a while, it starts making sense and like fractals, the peal patterns of Times Square start to emerge. It is truly a piece of living four-dimensional art with various focal points from any direction you stand and look. The lights that blinded you at first make way to the symmetry of the area. The streets are almost perfect angles—but not exactly. There’s a feeling of imperfection there as well brought together by the whole. Times Square is the definition of “synergy.” The addition of the people from all walks of life in there squirm like a hand full of flies fermented apple juice, adding the finishing touch to the woven tapestry. New York may just be any other city if it wasn’t for Times Square.

 

The art is just the start of it though. Beyond that, there is materialism in excess to the point of shear beauty. At one or two in the morning, mall type stores are open everywhere there. There are classy stores and shops in New York. Those are not in Times Square. Times Square is more like Mall of America or an outdoor outlet mall with all the same stores and they are packed because sometimes you just need to buy a pair of Raybans and Sunglass Hut at midnight. Between mall stores and souvenir shops capitalizing on the NYC name, city stays alive.

 

A lot of people think I am crazy for my love of New York but they don’t see it and that’s fine. They are just wrong. Times Square is America from sea to shining sea and there is a wave of calm that washes over me every time I am there. If I am going to be married to my work, New York has become my mistress.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

I Rode Business Class on Amtrak

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One of my bucket list items was to take business class on the Amtrak sometime. When I work, occasionally I have to train new people and I am not always a fan of it. After spending fourteen hours on the road with someone else that I don’t know or just met, I sometimes, depending on their personality, like to have a little bit of private time. My trip was to Baltimore, Maryland. Amtrak has a train from the Baltimore Airport to Washington DC then from DC to Chicago with an almost hour layover in DC. 

 

I decided to get a $15 upgrade to Business Class on the thirty-minute Amtrak from Baltimore Airport to Union Station in DC. Unfortunately, the guy I was training decided to do the same so that was my bit of annoyance for the day.

 

The conductor for that car was super nice and helpful. I mean, I really didn’t need help putting my laptop bag up in the overhead, but she insisted. The seats were not as comfortable as those in First Class on American that I wrote about in I Flew First Class, but they were still REALLY comfy. Leg room was the same as coach on most Amtrak coach cars I have been on, but better than a few that were too close. Amtrak Coach is generally comfortable anyway, so Business Class isn’t a huge upgrade and for a thirty minute ride, I don’t know if it is worth a $15 increase, but it was only $15 and the two-hour Amtrak I take frequently is only a $25 increase for Business Class. I will upgrade in the future. It is a little more relaxed and more comfortable.

 

For more from Michael Beebe, please read his blog on TheMichaelBeebe.com.

I Flew First Class

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While adding the blog piece Coin a New Word 1: Macro Niche, which completed number 39 for me on my bucket list, I noticed one saying to fly first class. I forgot it was a bucket list item and I accidentally did it a few weeks ago.

 

It was comfortable! I fly on American Airlines almost exclusively and if I can’t fly with them because of price, I am prone to bring Amtrak. I was at Sacramento International Airport (SMF) a couple weeks ago waiting on my flight to Chicago and I was booked for seat 8A. 8A is the second row of the main cabin seats for American Airlines on a 737-800 and seat A is the port-side window seat. I was happy. Since I fly so much I have Gold Status on American, a real feat for someone who got that status by flying mostly basic economy and only over the course of six months. With Gold Status comes boarding Group 4. Flyers are put on the plane based on boarding groups 1 through 9. Group 4 is pretty quick to board. Normally I can board, be buckled in, and asleep before the doors are shut.

 

While standing in line to board, I heard them page “Passenger Beebe, please come up for your new seat assignment.” Crap! I went up and the first thing I noticed was I was in seat B, not A. I was thinking it was a middle seat and I have wide shoulders. No one wants me in a middle seat. Then I noticed the “4” was missing a line and looked like a “1” for my boarding group. Finally I noticed I was now in row 5, not 8. I tried to not grin but I’m pretty sure I was…big time. Usually with Group 4 I am on the plane in five minutes. The line ahead of me is minimal but with Group 1, I was the third person on the plane.

 

After I put my carryon in the overhead, I sat down it what can only be described as the most comfortable seat I’ve ever sat in to travel sans a Cadillac. I stretched my legs out because I could and felt so comfortable that there was a sudden Zen-like feeling in which the whole world made sense. I quickly realized that maybe first class should board last instead of first because the other nearly 200 people have to walk past you and…they smell funny. In a window seat you are a bit away from them, but in an aisle seat, they all walk past you, some hitting you with their luggage, mostly not unintentionally. I had been up at this point some thirty hours and was exhausted and that seat felt amazing! I had plenty of room and didn’t need a seatbelt extender. I relaxed and was out like a light quickly. I felt the acceleration of the plane taking off for a moment then drifted back to sleep. After everyone boarded I wanted to snap a picture from my seat but I didn’t last that long. I zonked out fast.

 

Once the plane landed I woke up from the stop but (and heres the important part) I had so much room I did not smack my face on the seat in front of me, my usual wakeup method on a flight (usually a point of comedy for my fellow passengers). Nope! I still lunged forward, but not as hard and woke up gently.

 

I have flown since then and each flight seems unfulfilling and uncomfortable. I really loved first class— possibly more than I should have.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

I Hate Texas

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There! I said it! But what if I really don’t hate Texas? I’ve taken more than a few trips through Texas but always down Interstate 40 through Amarillo, but I haven’t seen the whole state really. Maybe there’s more to see than a desert and stockyard. Statewide Texas is a strange mix of churches and strip clubs; adult toy superstores and stores just named “guns.”

 

Going down I40 from Oklahoma you will hit Texas pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Then you’ll drive another hundred miles to hit Amarillo. One look around Amarillo and you see it looks like any other American Southwest town with a slightly higher crime rate, transient motels, grifters, homeless, and an underlying drug habit. My highlight is that I can eat at Whataburger when I pass through. About thirty miles past the city you’ll find a big stockyard. From a distance in the daytime it looks like an ant colony in a freshly split log. You see the black and white dots moving in an almost nauseating form for miles before you get there to see a sea of cows. At night, you can smell it from the same distance. That area is dry and boring. Maybe twenty miles before you hit the New Mexico State line there are some hills that are actually beautiful, but that’s short lived and you’re back in an arid wasteland again. Even the final exit heading west down the interstate has a little gas station that’s been abandoned for decades and looks like a perfect place to stash a dead body. Going this way is a necessary evil to take a southern route to California during the winter and miss driving down I80 in the snow.

 

El Paso was once referred to by a friend as “the armpit of Texas,” which surprised me since (from my limited experience) I thought all of Texas was an arm pit. I loved it!!! I wasn’t there long, but the harmonious mix of cultures and little shops downtown was amazing. The historic downtown has these old beautiful buildings and small Mexican stores and restaurants. Taking an Uber at one point we asked what the “big red X” was to the driver and he said it was some building in Mexico. I knew we were on the boarder but I didn’t realize if you had a good arm that you could whip a stone into Mexico and start an international incident (note to self: add “start international incident” to my personal bucket list). It’s a boarder town in the desert. I’ve been in many worse towns throughout the country and I can’t call El Paso an armpit. I can say that people from other countries have different living standards from Americans and the people living there (legally or not) are living a much better life than they would give miles to the south. Sure the taxi stand had the word “taxi” spray painted on a piece of plywood on a carport with chicken wire walls, but that added to the charm.

 

Most recently I had to go to McAllen, Texas…and I loved it. I entered Texas just below Texarkana, Arkansas and drove the state roads south. There is an I69 corridor but that interstates under construction. It is in tact for roughly 70 miles with Houston in the middle of that stretch and it’s a fantastic road, though any road going top to bottom would have been fantastic to me after driving five hours on state roads and US highways that don’t feel like you’re getting anywhere. I’ve been in Houston one other time by briefly and it remains a city I want to explore in depth at some point because it is beautiful. I believe you can tell a lot about a major city by it’s downtown skyline and Houston’s is amazing. Moving south, I hit the Corpus Christi area and there were these quaint little restaurants attached to gas stations (gas stations in that area seem to have a restaurant or bait shop attached to them). I was mad I had just eaten because fresh seafood would have really hit the spot over a Golden Corral.

 

Finally I hit McAllen after sixteen days of driving through Texas (it may not have actually been that long) and I fell in love with “The Valley.” Edinburg and McAllen are awesome! I loved McAllen so much I requested another trip down there in a couple weeks for my birthday so I can cross into Mexico for my first time. It has most of the things I love about Los Angeles except the ocean and the cost of living is manageable. Like El Paso, it has a huge Mexican population and a vibrant downtown area because of it. My Uber driver dropped me off at the bus station and told me there was a Subway inside. I had three hours till my bus and I smelled good food. I walked into a little place and seated myself. I ordered some tacos and a Coke. The owner asked if I wanted a Mexican Coke or a regular Coke. Please! I would have just eaten at Subway if I wanted “regular Coke.” The place was called La Mordidad and I will be back there. I had three pork tacos and a Coke for $7. When he told me the price I laughed in his face with excitement. That’s it? He got a nice tip. The food was so good that I left a five star review and and wrote out a review on their Facebook page while still in the restaurant. It may be the best Mexican food I’ve ever had. I had a few personal interactions with people in the area. Some didn’t speak English at all and my limited English compounded by the volume of the music being played where I was made accurate communication nearly impossible but everyone was gracious and appreciated that I at least made an attempt at Spanish. I figure my Spanish sucks but it’s better than their English.

 

The bus from McAllen dropped me off in Dallas. I walked to the McDonald’s and ate. It was 1am and that’s all that was open. While there I asked the security guard if I should take an Uber to the airport or wait on the train (the real underlying question was if this area was a shithole at night that I should avoid walking around in). He suggested I Uber and I heeded his advice.

 

One thing about my travels is that I’ve learned to find cheaper transportation. McAllen to Chicago was just shy of $600 on American Airlines but Greyhound to Dallas was $35 and Dallas to Chicago on American was $53. So add the extra $30 Uber and I still saved some $480. Smaller airports are just too expensive but the bus can get you places cheaper, but you’ll be stuck on a bus with the thought “this bus smells like corn chips and I’m the only one not on meth at the bus station.”

My next chance I will explore Houston and Austin. Both are places I want to know better and Austin is the home of SXSW and I want to attend that some day.

 

One tip on Texas I think everyone should know. Drivers in Texas are awesome. They are both competent and friendly. If you need over in a lane, turn your blinker on and they will wave you on through. County deputies and city police officers are great men and women doing the work of the people, protecting and serving their communities. I’ve only come close to having an accident in Texas three times (compared to New York City’s five times in one day). Guess who I almost had accidents with. That’s right! Each time it was a Texas State Trooper. Stay clear of them! One followed me so close I couldn’t see his headlights, then went around me, swerved onto the shoulder, and I had to avoid hitting him since his ass end was still on the road. No emergency flashers or anything. I thought it was isolated but I had a similar experience in Houston one other trip with a pair that may have been street racing each other on the interstate. They just swerved all over the road at high speeds.

 

Ok. So I don’t hate Texas, just parts of Texas and some things about Texas. It is so large that it really is like a whole other country with its own unique set of laws and customs. I even had boarder patrol get on my bus and ask each of us if we were U.S. citizens (I was mad they tapped me on the shoulder to wake me up and ask). Go to Texas. If you don’t like where you’re at, go about one hundred miles and it’ll be different.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

Nowhere Special in North Dakota

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With my job, I have visited a lot of states. Coupled with family vacations, I’m so close to seeing the Lower 48. I had two to go and now there’s just one. I drove through North Dakota last week…and it sucked.

 

It started out when I got to Fargo and took a nap, then woke up to snow…a lot of snow. I asked the girl about the storm and it’s size and she looked it up on her phone. She then responded, “Oh geez! Yur screwed,” in that uniquely North Dakotan accent (with the movie Fargo if you don’t know what I’m talking about). Then there was that laugh they do.  I asked how big the storm was and she said “it’s North Dakota.” She showed me a map on her phone and it really was the entire state and about 100 miles into Montana. Apparently there was a convergence of three different winter storm fronts over the state and that did not make for fun driving. I never knew they named storms, but it was named Winter Storm Quinn.

 

There was a thirty mile per hour cross wind and most places were expecting five to nine inches of snow out of the storm. When I woke up from my nap in Fargo and pulled to a gas pump, all the pumps facing North were covered in snow and ice while the South-facing pumps were clear, but you had to stand on the cold side of the truck as the wind blew at you since I was on the north side of the truck. So I stepped down into two inches of slush to get my gas. After I left I continued west and many times thought it was a mistake. The wind was blowing about thirty miles per hour with gusts up to about fifty. I was driving anywhere between thirty and forty, but closer to thirty, so about half the speed limit at best.

 

Onward to Bismark! That’s where I stopped for lunch at a HuHot (visit their Facebook Page), which has become one of my favorite places when I can find them. I asked the hostess how the if the state usually does a good job plowing and she said, “Not really! We’re really behind the times with that. They wait till its about half over till they get out there.” Crap! Nothing she said was any different than what I was noticing, but I was hopeful. That hope was crushed twenty minutes later when I hit a snow drift in the middle of the interstate and nearly went off the road.

 

Finally I got to Beach, North Dakota, which is the last city in North Dakota headed west on Interstate 94 and it was anything but a beach. Yep! It sucked as bad as the rest of the state. At least it was a flat state so the interstate didn’t twist and turn around.

 

Years back, North Dakota was the only state with a declining population. They had more people moving from there than the aggregate of people moving there and being born. They were the only state in the Union with a declining population and I fully understand why. I also have no reason to believe that trend has changed. It was a wasteland of cold that felt like there would never be happiness in the world again. Your mood truly starts to change in an environment like that and not for the better. It was truly miserable. I would like to go back in the summer and see the things I missed, one place being the Enchanted Highway. Stopping in those temperatures and that wind to see steel sculptures was not going to happen on this trip.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

The Great American Road Trip

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One of the hardest things about writing this blog is the variety of places I go but only for a short time. How do I sit down and talk about Times Square in five hundred to a thousand words when pictures can’t even do such an amazing place justice? Do people want to really know about me sleeping upright on a Manhattan park bench because I missed my flight and got stuck taking a bus home from the city that never sleeps? How do people feel about hearing about pure exhaustion and pushing through as hard as you can to the point of delirium and finally falling asleep on an airplane with less than a graceful rumble of snoring? Yeah. That crap all happens. So instead of talking about a place, I think I am going to talk about my job for a little bit and tell people exactly what I do.

 

I drive. I drive a lot. I drive box delivery trucks from the builder (actually a terminal about thirty miles from where they are built) to the (mostly) end user. My normal run consists of me waking up, driving an hour to my job, then talking with the people in the office for a few minutes. After that is all done, I go to the truck assigned to me and throw some license plates on, placards (the thing that has the company I contract for’s DOT number) in the windows, and check under the hood to make sure all the fluids are where they should be and the caps are all tight, then I inspect the tuck for physical damage. After all that, I go to a gas station and fill it up. This all takes about thirty minutes or so. Now the real fun starts. I punch in my GPS where I am going and…I’m off.

 

We are required to follow the same DOT regulations as truck drivers; no more than eleven hours of actual drive time, fourteen hours of on-duty time (which includes breaks, fuel, and other reasons to stop and do things), and a thirty-minute break within any eight-hour stint. Oh yeah, we also have to log all of this stuff as we do it on our phones or tablets. After the first week, none of this stuff is even a question; you just do it automatically. Where do the problems come in? Each driver has different flaws. I hate bad weather and mountains, but I excel at city driving. Fog mesmerizes me. After a couple hours of foggy driving, I am ready for bed. That bed is rather uncomfortable at times since it’s just a hammock slung from the support posts in the truck. It’s seldom a comfortable temperature to sleep in with either being too hot or too cold. Several cold nights I slept up front with a blanket wrapped around me, the heat on, while seated upright in the driver’s seat. The DOT also requires ten hours of continuous off-time daily, so under rather adverse conditions, you just want to get on them road in hopes of getting somewhere warmer or cooler just to get more comfortable. Exhaustion becomes a constant. Urine is the body’s natural radiator. When I get to a truck stop, I go relieve myself before I go to sleep. On cold nights, almost exactly two hours after I fall asleep, I have to take a leak and I’m not talking where you wake up and think, “I may need to pee soon,” but the type of urgency that you consider not wearing your shoes to run back inside to go. Sometimes behind that snow bank looks a lot closer than inside the truck stop. After that, I’m good for the next eight hours if I want without needing to go at all. I assume it’s just caused by the body cooling as heat escapes and you really don’t need it anymore. There are also places that get down to ninety degrees at night so you lay there sweating, miserable, and wide awake like some kind of hotbox punishment in a backwoods state prison. I could get a motel room, but that’s money that’s not staying in my pocket then and I’d rather spend the money I earn at home.

 

After that lack of sleep, you drive another seven hundred and some odd miles just to repeat the night before. Then after that is one more night just like the last two. Day four hits and you work a few hours more only and you are delivered. Now it’s time to go home.

 

I hate buses-I hate them with a passion. My personal preference for comfort is Amtrak, but from California, its a fifty hour ride (including layovers and transfers to other trains) to Chicago, so it’s inefficient. The train from New York City or from D.C. isn’t bad because you get enough sleep that you can do the next run, but flying is your best option. You get home in a reasonable time and sleep in your own bed while coworkers are sleeping upright on the Amtrak or Greyhound. Either way, we Uber out of wherever we dropped off the truck and go to the airport or station of departure. Sometimes the Uber costs more so instead of spending thirty dollars on an Uber, we will spend five dollars and just have them take us to some public city transportation option. This sucks! Ever ride a city bus with a big suitcase full of everything you need for four days? This country boy didn’t till he started this job. Remember, where I live in Northwest Indiana has a way different climate than Southern California or Southern Florida, so you have a big winter coat with you and shorts for when you get to where you need them. So you have to get to the airport two hours early to go through security and now your bored because sometimes you get through rather quickly. You haven’t slept well for days and now you’re at the airport. Finally you get on your flight and before you take off, you are in dreamland then you land. At least five different times, I woke up upon landing…by smacking my face into the seat in front of me when the plane hit its brakes. Those were not among my proudest moments. Now that I am back in Chicago I take the Blue Line from O’Hare up to Millennium Station where I now wait on the South Shore to take me to Michigan City, Indiana and then my friend usually gives me a ride to Elkhart, Indiana where my car is or just to my house one town over and I deal with getting my car the next day after I sleep some fourteen hours.

 

You know you’re tired when you can fall asleep on a New York City subway or on a bench in Los Angelas’ Chinatown. After a while you get used to the fatigue—somewhat.

 

A friend of mine asked me a few months ago if I mean what I said in the piece I did titled No Regrets or if it was just a bunch of bullshit and he asked me why I haven’t written anything in a long time. The answers are: Yes, I meant every word of that piece and I still love what I do and because I’m always tired. To the latter, I will try to write more often and to the former, I see something new every run I’m on to fall in love with again. This job has made me appreciate America and what it means to be an American in a way I never thought was possible. Anyone that knows me knows that my startups are my passion in life, but this is a good way for me to see the country I love and discover new things and live new life experiences. As I travel, my goal is one new experience per trip and I have been successful. Some of the experiences are poverty to comfort to relaxation, to great food or drinks in a place I’d never imagine going in to.

 

I get paid to do what I do at two in the morning when I can’t sleep because something is on my mind. Driving clears my head and I do it constantly and it’s become an addition. Another friend asked about vacation and I had to explain to her that it’s not about going somewhere and stopping, I am addicted to the constant moving and as much as I loved it when I wrote my first piece, I love it more now. Even bad days don’t suck that bad. This job isn’t for everyone, but I go vagabonding every week, sometimes three and four times a week. The people I meet along the way and the experiences I have had in the last eight months are cumulatively the most valuable I have had in my entire life.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

Trapped in New York

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I love New York! There, I said it. I also violated one of the biggest rules of a columnist (not that I am one, but the same rules apply for a personal blog) and started a piece with the word “I,” but it had to be said. With all that, it’s an OK place to be trapped if the bartenders are amicable but I learned a few lessons.

 

The first lesson is, call if you’re going to be late. I was sick on one of my runs so I took a nap. One thing I know about Amtrak is that if you miss a train but had a ticket, you can just use it later. That is NOT true. I had a really good $104 deal from New York City to Elkhart, Indiana but I was sick and decided that it was better to nap for a few hours and just grab my return trip a day later. Yeah. That program doesn’t exist anymore. So not only did I lose my $104 ticket, but can’t get another one for that price for two days, not just one. The next day price is $200. So I now have two real options, stay at Hotel Pennsylvania for $99 plus tax or pay an extra $120 for the next day Amtrak ticket. Either way, it’ll cost me $220. According to Amtrak policy, you have until the time of departure to call and change a reservation, but they are not exactly forthcoming about that policy nor do that place a phone number that is easy to just find while in a New York City traffic jam. So yeah, I screwed up and the customer service rep and “your supervisor” all agreed that I was screwed and not getting my money back in any way, shape, or form.

 

The second lesson is that hotels don’t take cash in New York City. I attempted to check in to the Hotel Pennsylvania for the night but they require a credit card and then you can pay cash when you check out. Because of the nature of my job, I have cash on me and get paid via ATM card, not direct deposit to my bank. Also, I use a bank that’s local to where I live, so I can’t just run my deposit to the bank as soon as I get it. Basically, the $99 room rate is just a big joke that I can’t get because I have actual money on me.

 

Third is that bars close at 4AM, which can be good or bad, depending on how many drinks you have while at the bar (still to be determined), but right now I am REALLY sleepy! Are you really homeless while in a bar? I tend to think not.

 

Park benches are hard to find, even in parks and when you do find one, another homeless parson is on it already. There is a fine line between my job and being homeless and for such a nice night, I have crossed that line. With that, airports are great for being homeless. You are out of the elements and can sleep without being harassed too much, but I still suggest wrapping the straps of your bags around you.

 

My friend took pity upon me and charged a plane ticket for me so I just walked around for a bit and was homeless just over 24 hours. In conclusion, being homeless isn’t that rough if you are properly prepared and have a good social network of friends along with cash on your person. If you are a homeless advocate for whatever reasons…it was a joke and I am drunk. Screw you!

 

After I left the bar around 2AM I went to Penn Station. I decided to leave the bar early because I was at the point of needing either enough more to drink to get rid of my headache or it was just going to get worse while waiting there. While near Penn Station, I found a few open food carts and the one I picked was awesome. I had an Italian Sausage on a pita for only $6, the best prices on anything I found in New York City. My friend told me to take the E Train from Penn Station to where I needed to be. That didn’t make much sense since the Long Island Railroad went right where I wanted to go also…till I realized it did’t go where I wanted it to. My bad! So I took the Long Island Railroad to Jamacia Station then had to bring the E Train back toward Manhattan then I got off in Queens at Washington Heights so I could take a bus to LaGuardia. Yes. The first several times you in New York are very confusing and hard to get around. After several trips there, it’s still difficult to get around even when you do know where you’re going. After finally making it to the airport, I found a nice area of the food court to sleep in. I woke up around noon or so to a rather full airport and hung out and ate, then got on my 6:30 flight to Chicago.

 

My night of homelessness consisted of me getting hammered at Playwrights Irish Pub (which ironically has a VERY limited number of electrical outlets to keep your MacBook running so I’m not sure how they expect the next great play to be written here in 2017 on dead laptops, but the food is good and drinks are strong so I can’t complain. Tom, Carrie, and Catherine (she was from my last trip here) are all friendly and will take care of your beverage needs. I will defiantly stay at Hotel Pennsylvania when I have money on my card to check in. It’s a nice place with a good price if you aren’t paying cash and are willing to pay for your room online.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

Surprising South Dakota

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One of the hardest parts about this blog is finding something to write about. It’s not for lack of content, but because it’s hard to sum up some things in just a few hundred words. South Dakota along Interstate 90 is one of those places. I was amazed! South Dakota is a. State I never felt like going to…ever…and now I can’t wait to go back. The natural scenery mixed with the kitsch roadside stops make it one of the coolest places I have ever visited.

 

In Mitchell, South Dakota was the Corn Palace, which touts itself as being the only corn palace in the world (like they had to tell us that). Ever year the Palace cuts corn cobs in half and nails them to plywood, thus creating gigantic murals of different scenery and it’s actually really awesome. Mitchell is the town that leftover corn built. In fact knowing where their bread is buttered, City Hall is attached via lower-level entrench to the Corn Palace. It serves as a small music venue and has served as a stage for many a great artist, mostly ones our grandparents would appreciate. They have the obligatory crap sales stuff so you can get your souvaniours or other “Cracker Barrel front room” type products. They have ice cream for the kids and booze for the parents, along with all kinds of good old home cookin’ restaurants. The town itself has a plethora of antique shops too, which seem mostly like fronts to sell the crap from grandma’s house after she passed away, but I did see some really good, underrated finds there as well. For instance, there are a lack of Victorian homes there, yet a lot of Victorian era furniture and lighting fixtures for cheap in these shops.

 

Farther down the road was Wall Drug in Wall, South Dakota. This was a very interesting place. The town is built on an old drug store that grew up big and became a tourist attraction and along I90 you will see signs urging you to stop there for hundreds of miles before. It’s the Western version of “See Rock City” or “See Ruby Falls.” They have old time everything there from photos to dining plus a few saloons across the street and places selling Black Hills gold everywhere. While at Wall Drug, I ate a good dinner that consisted of sliced beef, green beans, masked potatoes and gravy, a dinner roll, and a slice of blueberry pie…all for just $23. Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that price tag on my dinner for what I ordered, but it was good. I’m not sure if it was $23 good though. This is another town where the city hall is right next to the tourist attraction and for good reason. There are jewelry and artisans all around along with your obligatory junk shops selling toys imported from China that will break in two days. The whole place is actually really cool and I want to go back sooner than later.

 

The I90 Corridor is basically a nice family friendly stretch of interstate through South Dakota that also includes casinos and these were some of the saddest casinos I have ever seen in my life. Aside from that, there were many Native American places selling “authentic Indian” goods and selling out their owe heritage, which doesn’t set well with me personally. All told, if you’re looking for family fun, a lot can be had in the I90 stretch of South Dakota.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.

No Regrets

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Two weeks ago I quit my job without any real notice. Since then, I often wonder if I made the right choice. The job I took is totally not something I pictured myself doing and it was a spur of the moment decision to start driving trucks and see the country.

 

I was right!

Though I may feel bad about the abruptness of my departure, I know myself and after sixteen years in a dead-end job that I felt sucking the life out of me every day, I was complacent; if I didn’t leave like I did, I may have been talked out of it. The new job pays more and is a lot of fun, with opportunities to see things I never knew existed. A good friend of mine has been working for the company for about the last year and told me what all I needed to do to get in (which wasn’t really that extensive).

 

I’m writing this from just outside Jacksonville, Florida but in the last two weeks, I have driven 4,500 miles or so and it’s been AWESOME!!! I deliver delivery trucks for a mid-sized driveaway company. I had never heard of “driveaway” before, but basically I drive a delivery truck to wherever the client wants it and then I fly home (or however I want to get home). The pay is decent and the deductions are even better. Thus far I have been to Brooklyn twice, Los Angeles once, and now I am almost to Jacksonville in a Waffle House next to the truck stop my truck is in.

 

Brooklyn Trip 1.

While driving, I was nervous as hell. My friend was my trainer and we drove with very little deviation from our planned route. Most of Indiana and Ohio were rather boring traveling across the Toll Road. Pennsylvania was gorgeous! The rolling hills, the friendly people, the scenery were all great. At the East end of Pennsylvania the mountains get a little bigger, but not as bad as what the South has to offer, which gave me no real problems. New Jersey might as well not have a speed limit and then crossing into NYC was…busy. Yeah…rush hour in a delivery truck is not as much fun as it sounds. My friend drove first and I followed. I was still getting used to the truck, but it wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it would be. We drove into Queens on our way to Brooklyn and I saw the most vibrant sea of humanity I have seen in my life. I drove through a Moroccan bazar…complete with Moroccans (they may not have actually been from Morocco). We hit this one area that had Arabic music, little tents set up on both sides of the road, people crossing over from one side to the other while ignoring traffic, and the pungent smell of Middle Eastern spices in the are. It was heaven. People were haggling over the price of cloth and garments and others were just walking around eating. We made our delivery and hopped on the subway which took us to the Jamaica part of Queens. The area had a large Hispanic population and I heard crimes against whites in this area is the highest rate in the city. With that, at no point did I feel unsafe or like anyone was going to take my stuff while here. We went to eat lunch at Delicias Caleñas, which offers Latin American food, not just the standard Mexican food we all love. After lunch, we took a train and then a bus to the airport for me to do another first in my life…fly commercial. I have never flown in a jet before and till then, wasn’t 100% sure that they really worked. After a long drive, I was exhausted and so was my friend. We boarded the plane and I sat down, strapped in, and gripped the arm rests tight. Then I took a nap while we waited for takeoff, which then went all the way through takeoff. I recall hearing the pilot say something over the PA and I woke up during the takeoff with a queasy feeling in my stomach and I was plastered back in my seat. With this, I felt the motion of the plane and wanted to freak out…then I fell back asleep. That part may have lasted 30-seconds. My friend even commented, “Wow, Beebe, I guess you were so nervous that you had to sleep through the whole thing.” Yeah. I woke up when the plane hit the brakes in Chicago. We took a train back to our terminal in Indiana and drove home for some much needed sleep…in beds.

 

Brooklyn Trip 2.

I saw a lot of the same stuff on this trip as the first time, but we flew out of JFK instead. We were running VERY tight and took an Uber to the airport, where we had the best Uber driver. Only in New York will you get picked up in an Uber where the driver has an Infinity. He would talk your ear off and after the 800 mile drive in an uncomfortable basic seat, his cooled leather seats felt amazing. He could talk to us all day and I wouldn’t have cared. Pro tip: if you drive Uber, NYC is the place to do it! We hit our plane and the doors closed maybe ten minutes after we got in the terminal. For this flight, I stayed awake for part of it, still nervous…till I started snoring.

 

LA Trip.

I have never been west of the Mississippi so this trip was full of firsts for me. We went through Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, Utah, Arizona, Nevada, and finished in California so I added seven new states to my list in just three days. The first day was uneventful with some of the flattest land you’ve ever seen. Nebraska looked just like central Indiana with the sea of farmland that extended to the horizon, but as the sun slowly sat, the prairie light up and almost seemed to be on fire. I didn’t expect to see that kind of beauty in waves of grain, but there it was. The backdrop turned into a shimmering gold as I pulled over for a moment to just take it all in. We hit Colorado at night and slept till morning just East of Denver. When we left, I drove through Denver with no problem. As we approached the city, we could see the Rockies slowly starting to emerge from a fog behind and I was awestruck. Then I drove through that crap and I pissed off a lot of people behind and beside me. After getting a flat tire and dealing with the repair, we didn’t get as far as we wanted to that day and bedded down in the first town we came across in Utah with a truck stop. Utah seemed weird, like I may be abducted by aliens at any moment, but it had its own beauty to it as the sun sat and the sky turned navy blue to black across the horizon. The sun sat over the mountains, but not past the horizon which makes for a really cool sight. The depth of the blue in the sky is a color I don’t recall ever seeing in nature before. We drove through Utah, which had more mountains in it and more white-knuckle driving before making our way into Arizona. We were only there for less than one-hundred miles, but since the trucks are commercial, we had to get permits from the state to drive through (which seems unconstitutional to me since the federal government regulates interstate commerce). Either way, the rock formations changed to something definitively Southwest and it looked really cool. Fractured cliffs and gorges were strewn across the visual fabric. It was dry and warm. We hit Nevada next (another state that requires the possibly unconstitutional permit to drive a commercial truck through). As we hit the boarder between the states, it just got flat and looked like a desert you’d see in an old cowboy movie. We fueled up in Las Vegas and it was hot out there. The air conditioning in our trucks could barely keep up with the temperature and they talk about the “it’s a dry heat” crap but no, all it means as you sweat and as you sweat, it evaporates so your body’s natural cooling system isn’t allowed to work. Vegas was rather ugly because of the fine dust that seemed to cover everything like haze. I bet it looks great at night, but in the day, it was unimpressive and looks rather boring. We crossed into California and the Mojave Desert was 100 degrees. For some reason, it felt better than the 90 degrees in Nevada though and there was a peace to it. I always feared going to California because I wasn’t sure if I’d want to leave and I later found out that I was right. We approached LA in some of the worst traffic I have ever seen and it took over an hour to go twenty miles, but for some reason, my stress in my shoulders from driving in that stop and go traffic wasn’t as bad as it was in the Rockies. We made our delivery just outside of LA and went to dinner at a nice Korean Barbecue place named Doctor Chicken. The food was good, but after driving through 100 degree weather, I guess we weren’t that in the mood for friend chicken or a Korean version of sake. At dinner, he got an email and he then started using the F-word like a comma. Our flight was canceled with no explanation. Our plan was simple, to make our drop off, enjoy the LA area for a few hours, then fly to Chicago, and take the train back to our cars. Yeah…no…. We ended up with a room in a Motel 6 which wasn’t as bad as we thought it’d be. He wanted to Skype his girlfriend and I wanted a drink so I went to the front desk and asked the clerk if there were any bars within walking distance and he told me there were not. Crap! He told me I could buy a beer at the Circle K next to the hotel, but walking around town drinking something out of a brown paper bag just looks sad so I went for a walk instead where I happened upon some unedited hip hop music from a place with a sign that read “Cocktails,” which usually means it’s gonna be classy (haha). I went in and the bouncer did the “no talking bad ass nod” that I could come in. Whatever! I guess they gotta make it look good. I ordered a Long Island and it was $8. I’m used to $7 for them in Indiana, so I expected Chicago prices ($15 or so) and was very happy to pay the $8 for one (or two). The bar was a cross-section of the local area and I was in love with the place. It’s called Bottoms Up Bar & Entertainment. I had an awesome time. It’s just enough of a walk from the hotels that the tourists aren’t there, so it was a local place with local flavor and I may have a new favorite bar…2,200 miles from my house. After this, the next morning we got to the airport promptly two minutes late (thanks to a slow Uber driver, LA traffic, and our own lack of motivation) and missed our flight plus two standby seats to finally leave LA some 19 hours after we were originally scheduled to.

 

Jacksonville Trip.

This trip can be summed up in one word…RAIN!!! It rained from Indiana to Florida. When it didn’t rain, once I was down south, there were just bugs everywhere. I hope the next time down this way fares a bit better for me down here. Maybe a nice wintertime trip down here is in store.

 

I literally get paid to go vagabonding around the country and have the security of a paycheck while I do it. I am living my American dream for now so no, I don’t regret leaving my job and if anyone ever asks why I quit the way I did, I show them a picture from along the way and they usually get it.

 

Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.