Trapped in New York
I love New York! There, I said it. I also violated one of the biggest rules of a columnist (not that I am one, but the same rules apply for a personal blog) and started a piece with the word “I,” but it had to be said. With all that, it’s an OK place to be trapped if the bartenders are amicable but I learned a few lessons.
The first lesson is, call if you’re going to be late. I was sick on one of my runs so I took a nap. One thing I know about Amtrak is that if you miss a train but had a ticket, you can just use it later. That is NOT true. I had a really good $104 deal from New York City to Elkhart, Indiana but I was sick and decided that it was better to nap for a few hours and just grab my return trip a day later. Yeah. That program doesn’t exist anymore. So not only did I lose my $104 ticket, but can’t get another one for that price for two days, not just one. The next day price is $200. So I now have two real options, stay at Hotel Pennsylvania for $99 plus tax or pay an extra $120 for the next day Amtrak ticket. Either way, it’ll cost me $220. According to Amtrak policy, you have until the time of departure to call and change a reservation, but they are not exactly forthcoming about that policy nor do that place a phone number that is easy to just find while in a New York City traffic jam. So yeah, I screwed up and the customer service rep and “your supervisor” all agreed that I was screwed and not getting my money back in any way, shape, or form.
The second lesson is that hotels don’t take cash in New York City. I attempted to check in to the Hotel Pennsylvania for the night but they require a credit card and then you can pay cash when you check out. Because of the nature of my job, I have cash on me and get paid via ATM card, not direct deposit to my bank. Also, I use a bank that’s local to where I live, so I can’t just run my deposit to the bank as soon as I get it. Basically, the $99 room rate is just a big joke that I can’t get because I have actual money on me.
Third is that bars close at 4AM, which can be good or bad, depending on how many drinks you have while at the bar (still to be determined), but right now I am REALLY sleepy! Are you really homeless while in a bar? I tend to think not.
Park benches are hard to find, even in parks and when you do find one, another homeless parson is on it already. There is a fine line between my job and being homeless and for such a nice night, I have crossed that line. With that, airports are great for being homeless. You are out of the elements and can sleep without being harassed too much, but I still suggest wrapping the straps of your bags around you.
My friend took pity upon me and charged a plane ticket for me so I just walked around for a bit and was homeless just over 24 hours. In conclusion, being homeless isn’t that rough if you are properly prepared and have a good social network of friends along with cash on your person. If you are a homeless advocate for whatever reasons…it was a joke and I am drunk. Screw you!
After I left the bar around 2AM I went to Penn Station. I decided to leave the bar early because I was at the point of needing either enough more to drink to get rid of my headache or it was just going to get worse while waiting there. While near Penn Station, I found a few open food carts and the one I picked was awesome. I had an Italian Sausage on a pita for only $6, the best prices on anything I found in New York City. My friend told me to take the E Train from Penn Station to where I needed to be. That didn’t make much sense since the Long Island Railroad went right where I wanted to go also…till I realized it did’t go where I wanted it to. My bad! So I took the Long Island Railroad to Jamacia Station then had to bring the E Train back toward Manhattan then I got off in Queens at Washington Heights so I could take a bus to LaGuardia. Yes. The first several times you in New York are very confusing and hard to get around. After several trips there, it’s still difficult to get around even when you do know where you’re going. After finally making it to the airport, I found a nice area of the food court to sleep in. I woke up around noon or so to a rather full airport and hung out and ate, then got on my 6:30 flight to Chicago.
My night of homelessness consisted of me getting hammered at Playwrights Irish Pub (which ironically has a VERY limited number of electrical outlets to keep your MacBook running so I’m not sure how they expect the next great play to be written here in 2017 on dead laptops, but the food is good and drinks are strong so I can’t complain. Tom, Carrie, and Catherine (she was from my last trip here) are all friendly and will take care of your beverage needs. I will defiantly stay at Hotel Pennsylvania when I have money on my card to check in. It’s a nice place with a good price if you aren’t paying cash and are willing to pay for your room online.
Thank you for reading this piece from Michael Beebe. For more about Michael, please visit TheMichaelBeebe.com or VagabondingAmerica.com.
